Ep. 39 | How to Start Leading Your Family Spiritually (Even If You Don’t Know Where to Begin)

You want to lead your family spiritually. You want your kids to know Jesus, you want your marriage to be rooted in faith, and you want your home to be a place where following God is part of everyday life.

But maybe you’re not sure where to start.

Maybe you didn’t grow up seeing spiritual leadership modeled. Maybe you feel like you should know more about the Bible, pray more often, or have a family devotional routine figured out before you can lead anyone else.

Here’s something I want you to hear: You don’t have to be a spiritual expert to lead your family. You just have to be willing to take the next faithful step.

Spiritual leadership isn’t about being the perfect husband or dad. It’s about learning to follow Jesus yourself and inviting your family to follow Him alongside you.

And it can start much smaller than you think.

Start With Your Own Walk With Jesus

One of the biggest mistakes we can make is thinking we need to have everything figured out before we begin leading our families.

We look at other dads, pastors, or men we admire and assume we need to be just like them. We see their Bible knowledge, their confidence, or the way they pray, and we wonder if we’ll ever measure up.

But you don’t have to copy another man’s spiritual life. You just need to take responsibility for your own.

You can’t consistently lead your family in a relationship with Jesus if you’re not making room to grow in your own relationship with Him. That doesn’t mean you need to be years ahead or have all the answers. It means you’re willing to walk the path yourself.

So start simple.

Open your Bible. If you’re not sure where to begin, try one of the Gospels or spend some time reading the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5–7. You don’t need to read several chapters a day. Five minutes spent reading and thinking about God’s Word is a good place to start.

Make room for prayer, too. It doesn’t need to be a long, carefully planned prayer time. Find a moment that already fits into your day.

For me, that often means praying in the shower. It’s one of the few quiet moments I have without kids or work pulling my attention in every direction.

And some days, I’ll be honest, I don’t feel like getting up early to read my Bible. Sometimes I show up and it feels like I’m just checking a box.

But I’ve learned that building a consistent habit matters. You’re making room for God in your everyday life, even on the days when it doesn’t feel especially meaningful.

Don’t let the pursuit of a perfect quiet time keep you from starting a simple one.

Bring Those Simple Rhythms Into Your Home

Once you’re beginning to build your own rhythms of prayer and Scripture, you can start inviting your family into them.

And this doesn’t need to look complicated.

Start by praying before dinner. Thank God for the food, your family, and His provision. It might feel simple, but those small moments teach your children that God is part of everyday life.

You can also begin praying when something comes up. If someone is sick, if you’re facing a difficult decision, or if your child can’t find their shoes five minutes before you need to leave, stop and pray.

My dad used to remind us that God cares about the little things just as much as the big things. I still think about that when one of our kids loses something and we’re all getting frustrated. We can stop, ask God for help, and then thank Him when we find it.

Those moments might seem small, but they’re opportunities to teach our children to depend on God.

Another simple practice is praying with your kids after a hard moment. When you’ve lost your temper or your children have been unkind to one another, take a moment to talk about what happened and pray together.

You might say, “Lord, I got angry and shouted. That’s not who You made me to be. Please forgive me and help me respond differently next time.”

Your children need to see that following Jesus doesn’t mean we never mess up. It means we know where to turn when we do.

Don’t Overcomplicate Prayer With Your Wife

I want to share something personal here.

For a long time, I struggled to pray consistently with Kayla. I knew it was important, but I had this picture in my head of what it was supposed to look like. We would sit on the bed, hold hands, and pray a long prayer together every night.

Honestly, I struggled to keep that going.

So I started smaller. Before bed, I would simply ask, “Hey, can I pray for us real quick?”

I’d thank God for my wife and our children, and ask Him to help us love each other and parent well the next day.

It was simple, but it was something I could actually keep doing. Over time, it became more natural to pray together in other parts of our life, too.

Sometimes the best rhythm isn’t the most elaborate one. It’s the one you can practice faithfully in the season you’re in.

Think Long-Term, Not Perfectly

Eugene Peterson wrote a book called A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. That phrase has stuck with me because it describes so much of what following Jesus looks like.

Discipleship isn’t instant. It’s a long obedience in the same direction.

You won’t get every moment right. There will be awkward prayers, distracted Bible readings, and days when your family doesn’t seem particularly interested in what you’re trying to teach them.

Keep going.

Your family doesn’t need a perfect dad. They need a dad who is willing to follow Jesus, keep growing, and point them back to Him along the way.

So start with five minutes in God’s Word. Pray before dinner. Ask your wife if you can pray for her before bed. Pick one verse to read together at breakfast.

Choose one small step and begin practicing it this week.

You don’t have to do everything today. You just have to start.

And remember, God isn’t done with you or your family yet.

If you’d like more practical encouragement for leading your family in faith, listen to our full conversation on The Rooted Family Podcast: How to Start Leading Your Family Spiritually (Even If You Don’t Know Where to Begin). We’re cheering you on as you take those small, faithful steps toward a more rooted family.